Long Term Survivor Survey, 2013 3rd QTR, it is my goal to reach 2,000 participants.
This is my YouTube video.
Welcome to my research page on HIV/AIDS, I require your assistance….
In the fall of 1989 I was diagnosed with HIV.
On this page I will share myself in the form of research and observations and experiments.
I wish I were a better researcher, and maybe I can learn from this.
I need not only those with HIV/AIDS, but anyone willing to share similar experiences.
I would really like to know what I did 25 years ago that is the reason I’m still kicking, and how it can be improved.
Stone Temple Micro-Finance & Research
This Is My Story….
Part of my story begins in March of 1989.
I was sexual very active, and as a partial consequence of that activity I contracted HIV, and told I had only six months to live. But instead of going with the option of taking the HIV medicines of that time, I decided to died with dignity and quietly pass from this life.
Six months came and went, and very slowly I decided there were other options available to me to try to live.
I still did not want to take the medicines available to me, because I observed that there were too many side effects and toxicity to take that chance.
I suppose I should mention that I should mention here that I was predisposed to trying alternative methods of maintenance and healing. Earlier in my childhood I experienced nightmares as young as seven years old. These were nightmares from the usual monsters to dying in my dreams.
Because of these nightmares I started reading books on dreams….
Spacemen, Monsters, Cowboys and Indians
I grew up during a simpler time in history. When I was just a child of seven or so the Internet was still a military/research computer network. My form of entertainment was playing out on the streets of Detroit with my friends. War, Cowboys and Indians, Cops and Robbers were our pastimes. A hill of dirt from some construction or demolition became our mountains and hills to conquer.
I think I had more fun growing up during these times because you could be anything or anyone you wanted.
And of course, what would I do with without the movies on Friday and Saturday, where Dracula or some other monster could grab you while you watched the movie eating popcorn?
All those times, I really touched a little bit fear, and a load of fun.
It is also the earliest times in which I learned about a concept called suspension of disbelief, where the reader or listener of a tale willed themselves to experience the events as real or plausible.
But the greatest story I have ever heard or read about was about a gentleman in Africa. This gentleman in a village was cursed by the local witchdoctor. Cursed, the man went home, laid down, and died. I first heard this story from Life magazine, ’63 to ’65, while doing research for a project in high school. After the project this gentleman stuck in my mind all these years, a life of its own.
Ironically, it is also the first example of my experience of the placebo effect. Usually though, the placebo doesn’t ultimately kill you. But after those first six months of my HIV diagnosis the placebo effect became of great interests to me because it raised an interesting question:
How can patients be cured of an illness if the drug they are taking is no more than a sugar pill?
I wanted to know how the placebo effect worked, and I wanted to use this knowledge to heal myself of HIV.
Touch Me Here, Feel Me There….
There are probably some early childhood example of bio-feedback, but to be honest I don’t remember. Maybe the movie “Altered States”,(1980, starring William Hurt and Drew Barrymore) may have been my first encounter with the term, thinking about bio- feedback did bring this movie to mind. It was a truly scary movie.
My interest in bio-feedback was in trying to make a connection consciously with my immune system.
But there was a problem with this theory: It is said that the immune system is involuntary, and that it can not be controlled or manipulated.
No, I do not believe that is true, else I would not be writing about it so that I find help in proving and perfecting it.
What one person believes or knows is not necessarily the believe or knowledge of someone or everyone else.
So I’m forced to seek people, patients and practitioners who may understand what I’m talking about.
However, from what I understand of the early university bio-feedback experiments, electrodes and monitoring equipment were used, and I did not have the luxury of having equipment of my own.
What I did have, were imagery and dreaming exercises practiced over a period of months, until I had a breakthrough dream in which I effected my immune system. (NOTE: Do I really know that? No, but I do believe it. But then, this is why I’m writing this, so it can be proving and perfected).
As far as I know, people know meditation is, no big news there: It’s been used in all forms of spirituality and religion since time began. Clearing of the mind and ego are the main focus.
But what if you turned that spiritual energy into something else?
Question: Can that energy be channeled into activity like Imagery: The ability to imagine an outcome, and being able to achieve that outcome.
I first bumped into imagery in the first year of my HIV status.
In those days, medicine was pretty toxic to the human body, and the horror story of how many pills a patient would have to take daily. I was at a local support group in Detroit, and among the many things they did was imagery classes.
I had read that imagery was effective in cases of cancer and other ailments.
I did eventually settle on the images that fought the HIV in my body….
I wish I could accept that this is the so reason for still being here without any medication, but alas that may not be the whole truth.
Dream-time and Interpretation of Dreams
I wasn’t too long that I started having interesting dreams battling whole armies by myself and slaying anything that stood in my way.
Then, I had a particular dream that made conclude that there were links connecting dreams, visualization and sexual energy.
But how can I know that beyond just my personal experience?
The only way I can think of is to do what I’m doing now.
To support in helping me with my research by participating in my research by testing theory
I do not believe it would be required to have a religion or spirituality to do this experiment, (after all, I was essentially an agnostic at the time, so I do not see a block in unlocking your potential….), but I also see the benefits of having this as basis of your belief to heal yourself.
What I Think
I think this work is unfinished, but worth putting anyway.
I will be sharing ideals and imagery/visualization as best as I can, and I hope this what I post helps in your own healing.